12 Myths About Marriage that People Believe - 233

Twelve seemingly harmless beliefs about marriage could be quietly sabotaging your relationship. From the myth that "marriage solves relationship problems" (it actually magnifies them) to the belief that "successful couples never argue" (healthy disagreement can strengthen your bond), we're dismantling the misconceptions that set couples up for disappointment and frustration.

When Daniel and Michelle share their personal battle with "the look" that triggers old memories of conflict, we realize how even strong marriages face challenges. Their honesty sets the stage for an eye-opening discussion about what really makes relationships thrive. Each myth they tackle reveals something exceptional about God's design for marriage.

Does having different interests mean you're incompatible? Must you always feel butterflies to be truly in love? Will children automatically strengthen your relationship? We address these questions with biblical truth and lived experience, offering a refreshing counterpoint to culture's romanticized portrayals of marriage.

Perhaps most powerfully, they remind us that marriage isn't primarily about happiness but holiness—a covenant where God shapes us through one another. When we replace fairytale expectations with faithful commitment, we discover a deeper joy than fleeting feelings could ever provide. The candid conversation provides practical wisdom for every relationship stage, from dating to decades of marriage.

Whether you're newly married, navigating a rough patch, or simply seeking to strengthen your relationship, this episode offers the truth you need. A successful marriage isn't built on myths or cultural assumptions—it's built on faith, intentional effort, and two people who keep showing up with open hearts before God and each other. When He's at the center, no challenge is too great to overcome together.

Chapters

• 0:00 This Week We Bust 12 Myths in Marriage
• 6:20 Marriage Solves Relationship Problems Myth
• 9:58 You'll Always Feel In Love Myth
• 17:29 Couples Must Share All Interests Myth
• 23:47 Marriage Means No Personal Space Myth
• 26:07 Good Marriages Don't Require Work Myth
• 29:31 Children Strengthen All Marriages Myth
• 35:48 Financial Stability Guarantees Happy Marriage Myth
• 39:54 Successful Couples Never Argue Myth
• 43:31 It's Okay To Go To Bed Angry Myth
• 51:47 Marriage Will Make You Happy Myth
• 55:21 Your Spouse Shouldn't Be Best Friend Myth
• 1:01:22 Marriage Doesn't Change Anything Myth
• 1:06:55 Episode Closing And Call To Action

Transcript

Daniel Moore: 0:09

It's still possible for us to get irritated at each other. Well, like yesterday, you thought I was irritated.

Michelle Moore: 0:14

I did. I actually just gave him a look.

Michelle Moore: 0:17

It's that look that the wives give to husbands and I honestly, was just sitting there and I was like and it confused me at first and he's like we're gonna talk this out and I'm like still looking at him kind of weird. He's like what, tell me? Like tell me what you're thinking, and I'm like nothing. He's like I know better than that. You've given me that look and I was like have I always given you that look? He goes every time you're mad and I was like but I'm not mad, he's. Then why are you giving me the look? It was just so funny because I'm like man, we must have fought a lot back in the day because that look is still with him.

Daniel Moore: 0:51

That's my trigger.

Michelle Moore: 0:54

It was funny because I'm like well, nothing's wrong, but I like the fact that I can affect you like this.

Daniel Moore: 1:01

This week on Marriage Life More. We're going to be talking about 12 myths about marriage that most people believe. We'll be back with this week's episode of Marriage Life and More. This is a podcast about marriage, bible and book studies. We interview people that have inspiring stories. I'm Daniel Moore, your host, and sitting with me this week is my beautiful wife over here, michelle. Hey guys, she's our co-host this week and we thank you for joining us.

Daniel Moore: 2:03

If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at www. marriagelifeandmore. com. For our platforms, our YouTube and Rumble links are there. We're also on the Christian Podcasting app, edify, and we're also on your Alexa and Google Smart devices. You can also visit us on social on Facebook, Instagram and X @ctgaponline. If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe. Feel free to leave a comment on our platforms. Give us a thumbs up or a five-star review on Apple Podcast. That's what helps our podcast here to grow, and we thank you for doing that.

Daniel Moore: 2:36

Well, this week we're going to be diving into the topic that every married couple, engaged pair or even a hopeful single really needs to hear. Marriage is one of the most sacred covenants that we can enter into. It's a picture of Christ and the church. But you know, let's be a little honest here there's a lot of ideas floating around about what marriage should be, and, of course, not all of them are true. Some of these ideas sound good and they might even sound a little bit spiritual, but they don't really line up with God's Word or real life and what it actually teaches. So today we're going to make our best effort to go through about 12 common myths in marriage, and these are beliefs that may be holding couples back, causing confusion or even stirring up a necessary conflict, and we're going to shine the light on each one and some of these. You might be just a little bit surprised about what the Bible does have to say about them. Now, whether you've been married for 30 years, three months, or if you're still praying for that future spouse, that perfect person that God has for you, well, this episode is for you and get ready to challenge some assumptions, laugh a little and, most importantly, grow closer to the truth and to each other as a couple. So grab your Bibles, your coffee or your spouse and let's get into it.

Daniel Moore: 4:01

So this week, on Marriage, life and More, we're going to be going through 12 myths and we're just going to go ahead and jump right into these. Michelle and I are going to go through all of these here and talk about each one just a little bit, and the first one that we're going to cover is marriage solves relationship problems. Well, this statement is a common but misleading myth. I know I've heard this comment made before and I'm sure, michelle, you probably have as well People jumping into marriage thinking it's going to solve everything.

Daniel Moore: 4:32

Well, many people believe that tying the knot will magically fix their issues, like poor communication, trust struggles or emotional distance. The truth is, marriage doesn't eliminate problems. It actually magnifies them. A marriage is like a magnifying glass and if there were little cracks before, well, after a while they're going to start looking like big, huge canyons. When two people make a lifelong commitment, their unresolved issues don't disappear. Instead, they often become more noticeable under the pressures of shared responsibility, daily life and deeper emotional connection.

Daniel Moore: 5:08

Now, from a biblical perspective, marriage is a covenant designed to reflect God's love, not a cure-all for dysfunction. Scripture encourages us to bear with one another in love. That's in Ephesians 4, verse 2. And that's implying that challenges will come even in godly relationships. Healthy marriages are built on a foundation of honesty, humility and mutual submission. They are not built on wishful thinking. Instead of expecting marriage to fix relational problems, couples really need to talk through your issues before your marriage and you're going to be talking about them within your marriage. Otherwise they risk being disappointed when the wedding day doesn't erase deeper issues. It simply brings them into closer quarters. So, michelle, what do you think about this little myth here about marriage solving relationship problems? What stands out to you?

Michelle Moore: 6:05

You know, I sat there as you guys read it and I was like I don't know that I ever really thought of it, that when I got married, that it would solve the relationship problems, because I would think that most people go into a marriage thinking that it's going to be well glorious. You know what I'm saying. You know I didn't ever go into it that way, but I do like the fact that when you were stating the fact that you have to have trust and I believe it was I lost it, so sorry, can you see?

Daniel Moore: 6:40

it? Yeah, it's built on honesty, humility, mutual submission, Not wishful thinking. Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 6:46

Definitely something that I you know. That's what pointed out to me.

Daniel Moore: 6:50

Yeah, and I know sometimes I think this may happen more often, probably with couples that date a long time, rather than ones that, just you know, date for just a short period and then they decide, you know they're madly in love and they just decide to get married short period and then they decide, you know they're madly in love and they just decide to get married.

Daniel Moore: 7:05

You know some people, after they've dated for a while, they do kind of start to you know some of your flaws will start coming out after a while because you know we very first start dating we try to sugarcoat everything and make everything superficial and look perfect for that new boyfriend or new girlfriend, to make them think that we're the best person for them. But you know, as it goes with any relationship, as we draw closer to each other, then our true colors start coming out after a while and you know it's you get more used to that person. You probably get a little bit more safe with being around them. They're not just going to dump you for any little reason, because there may be some feelings there. But definitely there are some things within relationships, especially communication. If you can't communicate while you're dating and you're having a major problem with that, even trying to come to a resolution about how to solve that communication issue.

Michelle Moore: 7:59

It's not going to work in your marriage either.

Daniel Moore: 8:01

Yeah, the last thing to think is, hey, if we just go ahead and get married, you know we can fix all this later and everything should come together and we'll be fine. But in all reality you know the statement there about, you know, marriage being like a magnifying glass I like to look at it that way because, you know, when we're dating someone, if we see little issues or little flaws, a lot of times we're so madly in love, we think, with that person at the very beginning. We're willing to overlook that. You know, we think it's just a little crack, it'll fix itself later and it'll be fine. But in all reality, if we don't get those issues fixed, then, as that magnifying glasses we keep watching that, those can become those canyons that totally separate people.

Daniel Moore: 8:40

And you know, you know some people have actually been pushed into divorce later on because they thought being married was going to fix all of this.

Daniel Moore: 8:49

But then they got, you know, deeper into their married life and they realized they just could not come to a resolution between each other and it just started creating that bigger and bigger divide between them.

Daniel Moore: 9:00

So you know, especially for people that aren't married out there yet you're still looking for the right one, or maybe you're just dating and you're just not married yet. But definitely make sure when and not everything's gonna be perfect when you get married, we know that and after you get married you're gonna find out more about your significant other that you didn't even know before you got married. You know you're not going to have a time there over time, as you're married, longer more things come out. But anything that is there up front, it's best to try to make sure you resolve your way through those things and don't think that marriage is going to solve all of those issues, because that's not going to happen and there might be some people that's made it work, but I would say it's very rare. I think the percentage is probably going to be higher that you're going to continue to have issues unless you figure out some way to resolve those. So go ahead and tell us what the second myth is here.

Michelle Moore: 9:58

You'll always feel in love. This idea is a romantic but unrealistic expectation of marriage. While the emotional highs of love, butterflies, excitements and constant affection are wonderful and often present in early stages of a relationship, they naturally ebb and flow over time. Feelings are unpredictable and can be influenced by stress, fatigue, life changes or personal struggles. If a couple bases the strength of their marriage solely on feelings, they may start to question the relationship the moment those emotions fade. Biblically, love is not primarily a feeling. It's a choice and a commitment. A feeling, it's a choice and a commitment. In 1 Corinthians 13, paul describes love as patient, kind, not self-seeking, and enduring, not as something you feel but something you do. Real, lasting love is showing up forgiving, sacrificing and staying faithful even when emotions are low. In a Christ-centered marriage, love is sustained not by the constant emotional highs but by the covenant commitment. In God's grace.

Daniel Moore: 11:17

Feelings will come and go but true love is rooted in action and not mood. And one thing that I like about this is we always have to remember that love is a verb, it's an action word, it's, and there's even secular songs out there I don't know if you remember I forgot who sang that but it was a song called Love's Not a Feeling. It's more than the meaning of the word. It's an action that you do between each other. Because, michelle and I, we're going to be the first to say that there are times in our, even in our, marriage, especially when we first got married, there was lots of times we didn't feel like we loved each other. I mean it's we were really at each other's throats, we were having problems, lots of issues were taking place, and if we were just going to try to survive on feelings, you know, I think we tanked. I just don't know that that would have happened.

Daniel Moore: 12:08

And so when the Bible describes this, and when Paul was talking about love and exactly what it is, you know he was talking about. You know, you've known, you know how there's times with love. We've got to be patient with each other and we've got to make sure that we work through different things and we've got to be kind. Yeah, and that self-seeking. We can't be selfish, you know. We can't be looking at ourselves and expecting. You know, I can't expect you to wait on me hands and feet and do every little thing that I want you to do. It's going to have to be. You know, I'm going to have to be not selfish with all of that.

Daniel Moore: 12:44

And then enduring. You know, even if we have good times, bad times, there's going to be the highs, lows, the valleys, the hilltops that love has to endure through all of that regardless. And so I think that you know a lot of times, especially with TV, you know movies and stuff like that. You know. I think that a lot of times, the storylines that they give you know there's always a living happily ever after and it's like everything. Just they ride off into the sunset and they always make it look like that it was a perfect relationship after that. But in real life we know that that feeling is not always going to be that way. Now, is there anything that you have to add to that one?

Michelle Moore: 13:25

The only thing I really when I was reading. In a Christ-centered marriage, love is sustained not by constant emotional highs, but by covenant commitment and God's grace.

Daniel Moore: 13:37

Good.

Michelle Moore: 13:38

That's so good because you think about it. You know it's not by my emotions. My relationship with Christ is not an emotional high. You know I don't give and take like, ok, god, I'm gonna give you this part but I'm going to take this. It's the same way with a relationship and a marriage and it says feelings come and go, but true love is rooted in action, not mood, and I think about that goes back to your relationship with Christ. You know your actions are going to know what's come out of your heart and show your love for God because you are doing what God wants you to do. But you love him so much, the same as your spouse. You love them so much that you're willing not only to do that by actions but by giving them grace too.

Daniel Moore: 14:25

Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up, because you know that's like that in our walk with God, you know there are times that we praise even when we don't feel like it. Right right, and that statement has came up many times for many different people. You and I have even talked about that, and it's not that we don't love God. It's just as life happens and as things take place that messes with our feelings and our emotions, and that's why we cannot base these relationships that are most important to us. We can't base those on feelings and emotions, because it doesn't take much just to wipe those feelings out.

Michelle Moore: 15:03

Oh, absolutely. I mean, especially if you're upset with someone, or your spouse, like I know we've had disagreements and I'm like, ok, Michelle, take a step back. This is not your feelings, not your emotions. You need to just pray about this for a few moments, and I know we've had that conversation where, hey, I'm letting the emotions and feelings get the best of me. We need to wait for a little bit and then come back and discuss it.

Daniel Moore: 15:30

Yeah, and that's one mistake a lot of couples make and we've talked about that as well is anytime there's an issue. Sometimes we want to be really fast and try to jump into the problem to solve it when we're still angry and our emotions are still really high, and usually that's a firecracker waiting to explode.

Michelle Moore: 15:47

And I think that comes to with maturity in Christ. Not only maturity in Christ, but maturity in within yourself as well.

Daniel Moore: 15:54

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 15:54

You know, with that spouse too, it's like you know who that person is, so it's like you know. You can't just all of a sudden I snapped I don't know if you guys heard me that like I snapped because you can't see me but you can't just turn around and just treat him like that. You know, whatever you want to do, you have to have grace. God gives you grace. Do you think that at the same time, all your stuff is misgivings and you know that he doesn't forgive us. So we have to have that grace for the other spouse.

Daniel Moore: 16:22

Yeah, so we have to have that grace for the other spouse. Yeah, and just because you go through a moment where you don't feel like you're in love with your spouse it's just like when you don't feel like you're in love with God that's when we need to work at it harder. Don't give up. Don't think, okay, this is just done and over with. I guess I don't feel like I love him anymore. Well, if you feel that way and you're ready to just end it and call it quits, then that means you weren't really in love with that person. You were basing all of that off your feelings and that's not going to last forever.

Daniel Moore: 16:50

So, that's where you're going to have to try to. You're going to have to learn how to flip that switch and make that love that you have something internal, make that come from the heart, and so that's very important. So that's the second one. Do you have anything else? Okay, that's. The second one is that you're not always going to feel in love with that person that you're with, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's going to work its way out. It's going to work its way through, as long as your heart is where it needs to be. And that's when you need to communicate. If you have issues, you know, that may require that you met to communicate in that area. It may require that you have to communicate in that area.

Daniel Moore: 17:27

So the third one is couples must share all interest. You know your spouse or your partner they may love model trains, but you care more about salsa dancing. You know some people think that that's a problem, but in all reality it isn't. Having your own interest is healthy, because it gives you something unique to bring to the table and keeps things interesting. So this is another common marriage myth that can create unnecessary pressure. While it's great when spouses have shared hobbies or passions, expecting complete alignment and interest isn't realistic or even really necessary in your relationship. God created each person uniquely, with their own likes, talents and their ways of recharging. In fact, having different interests can add richness and balance to a relationship, giving each spouse room to grow individually while they still support each other.

Daniel Moore: 18:14

So scripture teaches us that unity in marriage is about purpose, it's not about personality. In Amos, chapter three, verse three, it says can two walk together unless they are agreed? And that means unity in direction and values, not necessarily in hobbies or daily preferences. What matters most is that couples are aligned in their faith, their commitment to one another and their shared vision for life. So it's okay if one loves hiking and the other prefers reading. What's important is mutual respect, encouragement and a willingness to enter each other's world from time to time, not to be identical, but to stay connected. Sharing a few hobbies is great, but so is having your own thing. The important part is that you respect each other's passions. So what do you think about that one?

Michelle Moore: 19:02

I like the fact that it states the important part is that you respect each other's passions. So what do you think about that one? I like the fact that it states the important part is that you respect each other's passions. I think it's very important. We're all different, we're all going to have different hobbies and interests and I think that is the respect thing of hey, you do computers, you can chill out on that for hours and not even really come downstairs. I respect that While you're doing that, I get to read, which I absolutely love. But then we go kayaking or we can go for a bike ride, something we both kind of somewhat enjoy. But I couldn't imagine taking something away from you that you really liked. I mean, I think you would resent me and I would think you know if someone, as a spouse and a husband and wife, if the wife asked someone to give you know the husband something up that respect, they're going to resent it.

Daniel Moore: 19:59

Yeah, I'm going to love you more because you, even though you don't do what I do sometimes with some of the hobbies I do have you still see. The importance of that makes me happy.

Michelle Moore: 20:09

You actually said that faster than what I got to. Yeah, vice versa.

Daniel Moore: 20:14

And I do read some, but you read way more than I do. She's got the Amazon Kindle subscription. I like to read. Yeah, many times I've always asked her how in the world do you keep finding books on there, Cause you read so many? But there's just thousands and millions of books out there to read, I guess. But you know, I know how you enjoy that, yeah, and you know we've got you the Kindle for it and everything. I mean, I want to set you up and I want to make sure that you're happy with what you're doing and that's something that gives me joy and I don't have to do all that reading like you do.

Michelle Moore: 20:47

No you know, that's not my thing and I don't expect you to, you know.

Daniel Moore: 20:52

Yeah, and so that's. I think that's very important, that we do respect each other's likes and dislikes, and it and it does. It gives you a little bit of space to be your own self a little bit and and truthfully, those differences, especially if you're newly married or getting ready to get married someday you're going to appreciate those differences because that's going to add the variety in your marriage. So everything's just not boring and mundane because you're both exactly alike and you'll find that there are things you like to do together, just like Michelle mentioned.

Michelle Moore: 21:22

Now I think sometimes it's hard for when you do have your different interests because, like me, for example, I can sit in the pool and lay out all day long. Dan wants nothing to do with the water and I get frustrated because I'm like why don't you come out and swim with me? And he's like I don't want to. And I'm like Like, why don't you come out and swim with me? And he's like I don't want to. And I'm like why not? And you know, after all these years, we still to this day. I'll probably ask you the same thing this summer, you know, why don't you? Well, I don't want to stay out in the sun. You know I work all day, so it's in that part I can feel.

Michelle Moore: 21:58

Sometimes it does frustrate me because I'm like why don't you want to do that? But I have to give him credit because he will come out without me even asking. He'll come out and I get so excited He'll tell you because I'm like you're out here, you know, and but I think a lot of times if you have to, just let the other spouse do it in their timing. So if you get frustrated and be like I don't understand this, sometimes you just need to pray and just say God, you know, help me with this. You know this is frustrating me because he already knows you're frustrated, but you don't have to speak that out, you know, to your husband. You can just speak it to God and just say help me with this and help me enjoy this moment by myself. And, you know, think of a way, you know, you can spend that time with God.

Daniel Moore: 22:43

You know, and you know think of a way you know you can spend that time with God, you know, and I do eventually come out, sometimes because I don't totally hate the water, it's just not my thing. But there are times that I will go and come out because I know that you want me to, and I'll do that to make you happy, because I want to make sure I don't want you to always resent me for not ever getting in the pool.

Michelle Moore: 23:04

And so I think that that's where that balance comes in.

Daniel Moore: 23:05

I would agree with that. And there's things that you know the same way with you. There's things that you'll get involved with with me. Sometimes that's not your thing at all, but you'll still get involved a little bit from time to time or ask me if there's something you can do to help or that kind of thing, and that just shows that the other person cares a lot, and I think that means more than anything in a lot, and I think that means more than anything in a relationship.

Michelle Moore: 23:47

So what's the next one there? Marriage means no more personal space. This idea is a harmful myth that can lead to burnout and resentment in even the most loving relationships. While marriage does involve deep intimacy and togetherness, it doesn't mean the erasure of individuality. God designed us as unique individuals and that identity doesn't vanish when we say I do. Healthy marriages actually thrive when both partners have room to rest, recharge and maintain a sense of self, whether that's through quiet time, hobbies, friendships or simply a moment to breathe. Biblically, even Jesus modeled the importance of personal space. He regularly withdrew from the crowds and even his closest followers to pray and be alone with the Father. That's found in Luke 5.16. If Jesus needed moments alone to stay spiritually grounded, so do we In marriage. Honoring each other's need for space isn't selfish, it's wise. Giving your spouse the room to reflect, grow and rest allows them to bring their best self back into the relationship, deepening both love and respect. I don't think that one really needs much more to be said on that one.

Daniel Moore: 24:59

Oh, and you know, for me, most people that's listened to our podcast knows that I have a white personality, which means that I do require some personal space, the fray and all the stuff that's going on, and I never have a chance to step back from that and have my quiet moments. Then I would eventually probably explode because I have to have that. So this is kind of a personality thing. I think so, and so if your personality requires that you get out of the get out of the way for a while and just recharge for a minute, you need to do it, because it's going to be worse your relationship if you don't. And so if the other partner doesn't understand any of that, I think over time, because it took you all to understand my personality- yeah, and now I'm kind of more somewhat like you because I have to have my quiet time.

Daniel Moore: 25:55

Yeah, and so you more understand where I come from now and you're okay with that. So so definitely make sure that you allow for that in your relationships. So the next one good marriages don't require work. Boy, how many people think this one's true, that was a good one.

Daniel Moore: 26:11

This is one of the most misleading myths about relationships. It assumes that if two people are truly compatible or, quote unquote, meant to be, their relationship's going to be easy and effortless. But in reality, every strong marriage involves intentional effort, consistent communication, humility, forgiveness and growth. Even the healthiest couples face challenges. From a biblical standpoint, on this, love and commitment are active, they're not passive. Ephesians 4.3 urges believers to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. That kind of unity doesn't happen automatically. It takes prayer, patience and perseverance. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract, and maintaining that covenant means choosing love every day, even when it's hard. A good marriage isn't one without struggle, even when it's hard. A good marriage isn't one without struggle. It's one where both people are committed to growing closer to each other and to God through every season.

Michelle Moore: 27:17

Through every season. I love that. Yes, every season.

Daniel Moore: 27:22

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 27:22

Because you are going to have multiple seasons of life within your marriage.

Daniel Moore: 27:27

Yeah, and it's not going to fix itself. No, it's just not going to happen. And a lot of people, I think we end up in divorce a lot of times because we don't want to work at it. You know, we feel like if it gets to be too much and it's too much of a burden quote unquote a burden on ourselves, then our first answer is just well, this is what meant for me and I'm done, I'm just going to forget it, move on. And that's not how God wants us to do that.

Daniel Moore: 27:54

And you know, we talked to we had one full episode on this back when we'd done the four laws of love on how marriage requires work to make it happen. And I think for myself, you know, I can, I can think of a lot of my friends that have been divorced and I can look at even some of our previous relationships that we've had where we just gave up on them. And a lot of the reason that it ended up like it did is because there was just a laziness there and we weren't being active. I like up there how it said, from a biblical standpoint, love and commitment are active, they're not passive, they don't just sit around like an observer and watch what's going to happen and sit there with their popcorn and enjoy the show.

Daniel Moore: 28:35

That's not how that works.

Daniel Moore: 28:36

We're supposed to be active and right in the middle of it, you know, doing the hard and dirty work to make sure everything's going to come out the way that it should, and that's what God expects.

Daniel Moore: 28:47

I mean even our relationship with God's work. I mean we can't have a relationship with God either if we don't work at it. That's right. And so we have to make sure that with our marriages since our marriages mirror that relationship we have with Christ then if you're going to put the work into it to be a Christian, then we should be putting that same effort into our marriage, into our relationships, to make sure that those do happen. So if you're a spouse out there and you guys are having problems in your marriage, probably both of you need to step back for a minute and look and see where is the laziness taking place, where is it that you're not putting all the work into it, like you need to be, to resolve those issues and try to work on those and try to make sure that that happens. So go ahead and give us the next one here.

Michelle Moore: 29:31

Children strengthens all marriages. This is well-meaning but inaccurate assumption. I want to laugh in this one too. While children are a blessing from God, they don't automatically make a marriage stronger. In fact, they often introduce new pressures. Raising children brings stress, exhaustion, financial strain and less time for one-on-one connection. If a couple's relationship isn't already rooted in strong communication, shared values and emotional intimacy, the demands of parenting can actually expose and intensify existing cracks in the marriage. So right, so true, yep, in so many ways. It's important to remember that children thrive best when their parents have a healthy, unified relationship, not when the children become the glue holding the relationship together. A marriage built solely around parenting can lose its sense of partnership and romance, leading couples to feel like co-managers instead of spouses. While raising children can certainly deepen love and purpose in a marriage, it requires even more intentional effort to stay connected as husband and wife. So true, children can be a source of joy and growth, but they were never meant to replace the need for marital foundation and mutual investment. There's so many things on this one.

Daniel Moore: 31:02

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 31:02

I just want to sit there and checkmark, checkmark, checkmark. This is great, great, great.

Daniel Moore: 31:07

Well, if you remember back in our study again, we'll refer back to that the order that God expects us to put in our relationship between the husband and wife and how that gets lopsided so easily. And so if it's God, then the husband and the children and the wife, or it's God, the wife, the children, the husband, or it's God, the children, the husband, the wife. All of those are not correct. That's or it's God, the children, the husband, the wife. All of those are not correct.

Michelle Moore: 31:31

That's right.

Daniel Moore: 31:31

It's God husband, wife, children and that is biblical. That's the way the Bible puts it in order, and there's a reason for that. What happens if you put all of this into your kids? The whole time you're married and then they're gone.

Michelle Moore: 31:44

Well, you forget about your relationship with your wife.

Daniel Moore: 31:47

Yeah, you about your relationship with your wife. Yeah, you don't even know each other half the time. And I can sit here and think in my mind of several relationships that are in our divorce now. And it happened right when the kids finally left the house. Once all the kids were gone, the relationship crumbled and failed and they got divorced and moved on. And that's such a horrible thing because there goes the family unit, so the kids didn't necessarily probably live in a split home. That was good. At least they waited.

Michelle Moore: 32:16

But it affects kids. It does Even as adults it affects them, to think that they only stayed together because of them. And then their mentality of relationships is I don't want one. Because why would I need someone? Because, you know, I don't want to be stuck with them and have the same kind of relationship my parents have.

Daniel Moore: 32:34

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 32:35

I mean, you got to think about the consequences of everything that we do.

Daniel Moore: 32:39

Yeah, and I'll tell you from personal experience having children doesn't keep a rocky marriage together either. You know, if you're having problems in your marriage and you're trying to resolve those, it's getting worse and worse. The absolute worst thing you can do is decide, ok, let's have a child and that'll fix it, because that's not nine times out of 10. That's not going to happen, it's just going to make things worse. And then you're going to end up with the divorce eventually anyway, and then you're going to have a split family and a blended family, and the child, from that point on, is going to be passed back and forth on that schedule, and so that's not a way to solve those issues.

Michelle Moore: 33:15

Now, and you know that from experience.

Daniel Moore: 33:17

Yeah, and I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. But my daughter was a last ditch effort to keep my first marriage together, and even though in my back of my mind I really didn't think it would work, but I still decided to do it anyway. And then, sure enough, before my daughter was even one year old, I was going through a divorce, and so that just creates a whole bunch of issues and a whole bunch of problems, and it's not a good thing to do so. To just put it in a nutshell here when you get into a marriage and you start having children, never let you or your spouse put your kids in front of each other.

Daniel Moore: 33:55

Make sure you keep that order correct. Make sure the children know where they're at in that line of order as well, because I've seen a lot of homes. They'll let the children roll the roost and they let them call the shots, and that's not the way that's supposed to work. The children need to know their love, and they let them call the shots, and that's not the way that's supposed to work. The children need to know their love, they need to know that they're important in the family, and the parents need to love those children above all things. But they also need to let the children know that when it's mommy and daddy time, it's mommy and daddy time, and that's the way it is.

Michelle Moore: 34:23

And I like the fact that it says here why raising children can certainly deepen love and purpose in a marriage, but it requires more intentional effort to stay connected as a husband and wife. And that is true because children bring on schedules. You're exhausted if you have babies and your children don't sleep at night. It's a lot of work and you know that's something. They have to stay connected throughout their whole life I mean even sometimes now I mean we get pulled directions with our grandchildren or our children. We still have to, you know, stay connected through all that.

Daniel Moore: 35:06

Yeah, and there's got to be some stability there. And you need to make sure you maintain that stability through it all, no matter what comes your way, and love your kids to the best you possibly can, because they're a gift from God, as it says in Psalms 127.3. But at the same time you've got to make sure that you take care of your relationship first and don't let that fail, because that's going to even let the children have a better example too of what a good Christian marriage looks like.

Michelle Moore: 35:32

I was going to say that's a great example for your children to show yeah. Hey, mom comes before us.

Daniel Moore: 35:38

It's going to train them in the long run Yep For when they have a family. So the next myth here is financial stability guarantees a happy marriage. Well, this is also a very common myth, but it places way too much weight on material security. While having financial resources can relieve certain stresses, like paying bills, securing housing or planning for your future, it does not guarantee emotional intimacy, trust or spiritual unity. A couple can have plenty of money and still struggle with communication, pride, selfishness or unresolved conflict. Money might ease external pressures, but it can't fix internal disconnection.

Daniel Moore: 36:20

In fact, the Bible warns us against placing our trust in wealth In 1 Timothy 6.10,. It says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, and Jesus reminds us that a person's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions in Luke 12, 15. A happy, godly marriage is built on faith, love, humility and mutual service, not the size of a paycheck. Financial stability is a tool, not a foundation. True joy in marriage comes from walking in unity with one another and with God, regardless of the bank balance, and I think this one does definitely become issues sometimes in some people's marriages, and I think one thing that I always think about when I read something like this is you always think about these millionaires. You know the people that have made it rich. You know Bezos with Amazon, and then you've got you know Facebook, mark, whatever his last name was I can't remember all their names right at the moment, but you know a lot of them, that a lot of these people that you talk to. If they make all this money and they have tons of money in the bank, if you actually sit down and talk to them, they'll tell you that there's still a void there. If they don't have God, there's still a void in their life and they feel like that now they have all the money and everything in the world that they can buy and yet they still don't have that happiness deep down inside of them. And I think that that rolls over too into our marriages, into our relationships and on the flip side of this.

Daniel Moore: 37:48

Being poor can also have the same effect on someone, I think, because that raises your stress levels. You know not being able to make ends meet, pay the bills, and you know take care of the kids correctly and that kind of thing. There's a lot of worries there. So there is a balance there, I feel, financially, that you need to be at in order for that relationship to flourish like it needs to. But for the person, yeah, real soon, you're going to find that that's going to destroy that relationship you have, because then that money becomes more important. You know, we talked about a while ago about putting your kids in front of you and your spouse. Well, some people put money in front of their kids and spouse as well, and that will not work. It's just not going to happen. Is there anything you want to add to that one? No, okay, that was pretty self-explanatory and hopefully no one out there listening is having an issue with this.

Daniel Moore: 38:52

But there is plenty of scriptures in the Bible that backs up this myth about financial stability. As it states here, god wants us to make sure that we have that faith in him, that love between our spouses and us, that humility between each other, willing to serve each other and be servants. God's more worried about that than he is the almighty dollar. God helps us. He supplies our needs according to his riches and glory. If we stay in his will, he's going to help us pay those bills. Yep, I truly believe that he's helped us so many times. And we're not rich. No, by any means we are not rich at all, but God has helped us sustain and he's helped us meet the things that we needed to, and you know our relationship has thrived. Yeah, go ahead and tell us the next one.

Michelle Moore: 39:54

Successful couples never argue. Just going to laugh on that one and start out with this is a harmful myth that can create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure in relationships. Disagreements and differences of opinion are natural in any partnership, even in the healthiest of marriages. That is so true.

Daniel Moore: 40:13

Yep.

Michelle Moore: 40:14

In fact, conflict itself is not the problem. It's how couples handle the conflict that makes the difference. Boom, I just dropped the mic on that one.

Daniel Moore: 40:24

Dropped the mic.

Michelle Moore: 40:25

Successful couples know that arguments can be the opportunity for growth, understanding and a deeper connection if approached with love, respect and a willingness to listen. It's unrealistic to expect two people to always agree on everything, especially as they navigate the challenges of life, parenting and personal growth. Parenting and personal growth Biblically, we're taught in Ephesians 4.26 not to let the sun go down on our anger, meaning that while disagreements will happen, we should address them quickly and constructively. Proverbs 27.17 says as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another, which implies that healthy disagreement can refine us. Just as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another, which implies that healthy disagreement can refine us, just as iron sharpens iron. The key is to approach arguments with a mindset of reconciliation, not rivalry, and to prioritize the relationship over being right. Successful couples don't avoid conflict. They navigate it with humility and love, aiming for resolution and growth in their bond. This really actually is very, very good. We've talked about this multiple times on our podcast.

Daniel Moore: 41:43

Yes, we have. You know, there's times, even between you and I, that even with everything that we've been through and with our relationship where it's at right now, it's still possible for us to get irritated at each other.

Michelle Moore: 41:56

Well, like yesterday, you thought I was irritated. I did. I actually just gave him a look.

Michelle Moore: 42:01

It's that look that the wives give those husbands and I honestly, was just sitting there and I was like and it confused me at first and he's like we're going to talk this out and I'm like still looking at him kind of weird. He's like what, tell me, like tell me what you're thinking, and I'm like nothing. And he's like I know better than that. You've given me that look and I was like have I always given you that look? He goes every time you're mad and he's like then why are you giving me the look? It was just so funny. Because I'm like man, we must have fought a lot back in the day because that look is still with him.

Daniel Moore: 42:34

Yeah, that's my trigger.

Michelle Moore: 42:37

It was funny because I'm like well, nothing's wrong, but I like the fact that I can affect you like this. Yeah, I might have let her know something a little bit more than I really wanted to, Because I was like no, I'm not mad, and that went back to the fact that our personality differences and how we handled the situation.

Michelle Moore: 42:54

Yeah, you know, with your white personality you didn't want to do what I was like. Well, we should be doing this, and I mean we talked it out, but it wasn't. We weren't really mad at each other, it's just you were stating yours and I was stating mine, because I mean how I felt about it, there's a little disagreement and so but the best thing we've learned, though.

Daniel Moore: 43:18

I knew that I wanted to talk through that, if that was a problem, before we went any further. And that's what we did. We sat there and talked through that and figured it all out and moved on, you know. So it's going to happen.

Michelle Moore: 43:31

Yeah, yeah, it is.

Daniel Moore: 43:32

You're going to have that time when something's going to happen that's going to flip your trigger, because we all have triggers and whenever that takes place, there's probably going to be an argument. But the best thing is I'm going to actually one of our other points. Here is another myth is it's okay to go to bed angry?

Michelle Moore: 43:51

Oh yeah, it stated that earlier.

Daniel Moore: 43:52

We're going to tie these two together. Okay, because they really do kind of go hand in hand. And I know in the worldly view of this they totally, totally, totally disagree with what we're getting ready to say about this. Because if you look at the worldly view of going to bed angry between two spouses, you know, if you look at it worldly, they think, well, if you're going to bed and you're just, that gives you some time to mull things over and cool off and make things better. So here's the thing, biblically, with that. Yes, there are times that we're probably going to go to bed not in the best frame of mind, but we need to make sure that we do try to resolve those conflicts the best we possibly can before we go to bed so that we can at least be on a maybe like a neutral plane with it and then tomorrow we can pick it back up and maybe finish resolving the issue. But if you don't even attempt to try to solve that issue before you go to sleep and you're furious at each other when you go to bed, that gives Satan room to work in your minds all night long. That gives him that capability to come in and start making you think bad thoughts about your spouse. You know, tomorrow I'm going to. You know he's not going to get dinner because I'm not going to make it for him. He's on his own. Or I'm going to make her go out and mow the yard something that she hates to do, maybe, or whatever. Or I'm going to make her go out and mow the yard something that she hates to do, maybe, or whatever. You know, just given this crazy little examples here. But that's what Satan will do. He'll sit there and start planting these little ideas and these seeds in your mind and God knows that.

Daniel Moore: 45:29

And I think that's why here in Ephesians, chapter four, why it was talked about to not let that sun go down on your anger. And when we have disagreements biblically, we should address them constructively and do it quickly. Don't let that sit there and fester. And I know sometimes we need to. When I say quickly, I know sometimes, when we're super angry, we do need to step away from each other for a little bit to cool off. We don't want to jump right into that or, like we talked earlier, we don't just want to jump into that resolution right off the bat while we're still furious at each other, because it's probably not going to work, but if we do have those moments where we just get angry and frustrated and we pop off and say things that we regret later and wish we'd never said, it's best to step back from that for a moment, take a little bit to calm down and then come back together and at least come to some type of a resolution where you can both come to some kind of an agreement before you go to bed. Even if it's not completely resolved, at least you're working on it. And if you can get to a point where you can go to bed not as angry as what you were before, pray about it, pray together before you go to bed. If that's a problem, I think that would be a good thing to do and then allow God to work through that as you sleep overnight, get up the next morning refreshed and finish the conversation and try to come to that resolution and work on that and stay in the word with it, stay in prayer with it.

Daniel Moore: 46:47

But that's something that a lot of couples make mistakes on. You and I have done this plenty of times. We've gotten furious at each other. We've once went to the bedroom and once slept on the couch. You know it's like that stuff does happen. We're not going to say that it doesn't, but that's not how God wants us to handle that. He wants us to handle that differently. It can.

Daniel Moore: 47:06

Basically, you know, underneath this, what I had here is it leads to unresolved conflict and emotional distance in a marriage. If you're not careful, it'll push you apart. And when couples allow anger to linger overnight, they risk building resentment and the issue could escalate the next day and continue to keep escalating. You know, higher and higher. So when we go to bed angry, it robs couples of the opportunity for the reconciliation, healing and peace. And while it's natural to feel upset in the heat of an argument, it's essential, like we said, to pause, take a deep breath and seek resolution to that before the day ends and take care of that. And that's something that I think you and I have done really well, since we've fixed the major issues we had within our marriage.

Daniel Moore: 47:51

I don't know when the last time was we really went to bed mad at each other. It's been a long time, because now we make an effort, just like we were just talking about the last night. If something does come up between you and I, we do, really we try to fix it right then and there. We don't want to let that linger and create any issue.

Michelle Moore: 48:10

Well, I think sometimes you may have a person that, whether it may be husband or the why, for example, they want to. You just had an argument. And then one person's like, let's solve this, let's solve this, let's get taken care of. And the other person has to think about it and really take in what happened and pray about it before. But you got this person like, let's talk about, let's get it solved, we can't go to bed.

Michelle Moore: 48:37

I think sometimes that you just literally have to step away from each other and even as you say that, sometimes you can just say, ok, hey, satan, I'm not going to let you have any thoughts in my head. God, you know we're going to work this out. But I think there are times that and I would say that you are going to go to bed. I mean, that's just biblically, maybe it's in Michelle's way, I don't know, but I think there has been times. You know, even though I am not like solely mad and we don't discuss it, I mean I make sure that one my heart's in the right place, and God knows, you know, and I pray with God and then I'll come back and address it the next day.

Michelle Moore: 49:21

You know, and that's where I'm like. Ok, you know you hurt my feelings in this or you said this, but it wasn't something I twelt upon. So I think you know I understand that statement and I understand that where it's coming from biblically, but I think it's sometimes I'm trying not to justify it for myself, but I think that there are going to be other couples out there that understand what I'm saying that you just are going to have to separate and even though you go to bed together, you're not mad at each other. But yet there's stuff there. But you are worked it out with God to know. The next day we're going to discuss that. Does that make sense?

Daniel Moore: 50:01

I mean, I think the difference here is the Bible is basically God doesn't want us to be full of anger when we go to bed and that's Satan causing us to explode inside and come up with these feelings of anger towards our spouse or whatever. I think God at least wants us to try to resolve to calm that anger down. We may still go to bed in a state of not being in agreement, you know. I think that we can go to bed knowing that, okay, at least for now we can deal with it like we have it here. We're not angry at each other anymore like we were. We know we still don't agree, but let's go to. You know we need to go to sleep tonight and let's sleep on this. Next morning we'll get up. Just make sure that you try to fix it eventually.

Michelle Moore: 50:49

You know you try to fix it eventually.

Daniel Moore: 50:50

Try to come to that resolution where it needs to be, and don't waste that time that time that you said I'm going to step away here for a little bit and think about this. Well, make sure you do think about it. Don't go turn on CSI or FBI or something like that and start watching TV when you need to be praying and thinking about going to God with some of this.

Michelle Moore: 51:09

I resent that.

Daniel Moore: 51:12

Is that what you do? You don't do that. No, but you picked on my shows Well that's the first two I could think of, because you watch them all the time. I don't watch much TV, really Way to pick my shows out, yeah, but anyway, whenever we have that angry, those angry moments between each other, you know, just make sure you don't waste that time. Yeah.

Daniel Moore: 51:37

I get what you're saying Make sure that you are going to God with it, because that problem does need to be resolved as soon as possible. Yeah, you know you don't want that to keep festering and building. So another myth here marriage will make you happy. You know you should never look to marriage as your sole source of joy. Of course marriage should make you happy, but it's not a pleasure vending machine, you know. Pop in those quarters and you get that happiness back out of it. This is a common but misleading myth that can set couples up for disappointment. While marriage brings joy, companionship and a shared purpose, it does not guarantee a path to happiness. If a person enters into a marriage with the expectation that their spouse will fulfill all their emotional needs, solve their problems and make them happy all the time, guess what? You're going to be let down. Michelle can vouch for that here in a minute.

Daniel Moore: 52:35

Happiness is an inside job. It's rooted in an individual well-being, faith and personal fulfillment, not in the actions or behavior of another person. Marriage, while a beautiful covenant, is not a fix-all for life's challenges. From a biblical perspective, true happiness and contentment come from God, not from circumstances or people. In Philippians 4, 11 through 13, it teaches us to be content in all situations, whether in abundance or in need. A successful marriage requires both partners to be grounded in their identity in Christ, pursuing joy in their relationship, their own relationship with him. Marriage can be a place of joy and fulfillment, but it should not be seen as the ultimate source of happiness. Rather, when both spouses focus on serving God and each other, joy will naturally follow. That so good Marriage is about partnership, love and mutual growth. It's not about finding happiness through the other person. Yep. So, good.

Daniel Moore: 53:28

So what happens when you put somebody on a pedestal and expect them to solve all your issues?

Michelle Moore: 53:36

Let's go back to episode. What was that episode?

Daniel Moore: 53:39

It was probably several of them.

Michelle Moore: 53:42

Yes, please, you know, don't put your husband on the pedestal, or your wife. Yeah, that's what I was getting ready to say.

Daniel Moore: 53:48

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 53:49

Definitely, you know that is what I was getting ready to say. Yeah, definitely, you know, that is something I learned the hard way and because I did that and there was a lot of hurt and a lot of anger and a lot of hate, because my poor husband let me down, and you know, because we're human, it's going to happen and my love was not rooted in what it should have been. So, I mean, literally go back and listen to our episodes, because it will be everything that we talked about.

Daniel Moore: 54:19

Yeah, It'll just lead you down a road to end up It'll crush you inside. I mean you described that pretty extensively in our episodes. I mean you describe that pretty extensively in our episodes. No-transcript, Because you put so much into that. Well, you didn't trust them, so much and they broke that and you know how do you rebuild after all that happens. Yeah, I thank God that you rebuilt. I'm so glad that you did.

Michelle Moore: 54:51

God's been a part of both of us. That is just something that's you know, we both know, and he was in a restoration business, not just in our marriage but within ourselves.

Daniel Moore: 54:59

Yeah, so it's very important to understand that that happiness that we have should always come from God, yeah, and then that trickles down into our marriage and our relationships. Just like I said, joy will follow if we allow God to create the happiness inside of us. So what's the next one down here?

Michelle Moore: 55:18

Your spouse shouldn't be your best friend. Your spouse shouldn't be your best friend Definitely a misguided myth that can undermine the intimacy and closeness of a marriage that is meant to have In reality. One of the most beautiful aspects of marriage is the opportunity to be deeply connected with your spouse, not only as a romantic partner, but as a trusted friend. In fact, when a husband and wife are able to share their hearts, dreams, and struggles and joys with each other, openly and without judgment, it strengthens their bond. The Bible speaks to this level of unity in Genesis 2, 24, where it says that is why a man leaves his father and a mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. The oneness described here implies just not physical unity, but emotional and spiritual closeness as well.

Michelle Moore: 56:15

Having your spouse as your best friend means having someone who knows you deeply, supports you unconditionally and challenges you to grow in your faith and character. Amen why it's essential to maintain the friendships outside of the marriage. Your spouse should be the one you turn to first, whether for laughter, comfort, counsel or simply companionship. A strong friendship with your spouse nurtures emotional intimacy, trust and a shared sense of purpose. In a marriage, the best friends are the ones who help each other become more like Christ, walk through life's challenges together and provide a safe space for vulnerability and support. I don't really think that you can add anything to this, because literally that states a lot.

Daniel Moore: 57:09

It does.

Michelle Moore: 57:09

I mean I sit there and I think about okay, you love me deeply, you support me unconditionally, you challenge me to grow my faith. I mean we literally laugh all the time. You're there for comfort and counsel and companionship. And you know we both I mean Dan and I will talk about like if we go anywhere, we always want to go together because it's so much fun going with him and I look up to him and he looks up to me and we have so much fun just picking on each other and laughing that I couldn't, I don't want anything else, like because of us.

Daniel Moore: 57:51

Yeah, I will tell you, though, not to Google this, because I have Googled it.

Michelle Moore: 57:56

Oh gosh.

Daniel Moore: 57:57

And when you go, look at this from the worldly side of it they truly sit there and say that you can't be a best friend with your spouse because there are some things that you just can't tell your spouse. And I'm sitting there thinking what in the world would you not want to tell your spouse? That's the person that you've given your heart to, that you've committed your life to, that's the person you live with day in and day out in the same home, under the same roof, and that is exactly what God has called us to do. He has called us to be open, open hearted, emotionally spiritually physically, intimately, all of those different aspects of our life.

Daniel Moore: 58:33

We're to be open with our spouse and there are some things, within even those four definitions, that you can't be with your best friend who you would consider to be your best friend. You know, my guy best friends I'm not going to be intimate with them, you know. I mean I'm not going to be physical with any of them. There are things that I share with you that I could never share with my best friend.

Michelle Moore: 58:53

Well, I think that scripture just puts it perfectly. I mean the oneness of it, I mean that's the reason why you leave the father and the mother and you become one in one flesh, because the two of you should be so close. So I resent the fact that the world states that, the fact that you can't be that way. I mean, here we are, we're proving everybody wrong and I'm sure there's many marriages out there that prove that wrong.

Daniel Moore: 59:18

Yeah, if there's actually things that you feel like you can't tell your spouse, then that's a very scary place to be because if you're not careful, that could open up the door for other things to be hidden and that could be sending you right down the road for a separation and divorce if you're not careful, because there should not be anything that happens in your life that you should not be able to have a safe space with your spouse to be able to tell them and to be completely open and transparent before them. That's the godly way to be a husband and a wife. And so I mean I have really good friends, I have a lot of them, but there's not one friend I have that I feel like I feel about you. I mean you're my ultimate best friend and I want to be that person to share anything and everything with you, not holding anything back, and I don't want to have to be the one walking around with this little facade, this thing over you know, over my head, scared you're going to find out something I'm trying to keep from you.

Daniel Moore: 1:00:18

I've been in that situation before and that is not fun. I don't like that feeling. I want to be able to know that I can come to you with anything, any issue that I have, and you're going to be a support system for that, or, if it's something that's, you know, kind of bad between the two of us, that we're able to work through it, and that's what being a best friend's all about, yeah, and so, yeah, I don't care what the worldly people out there want to say and speak over couples but I'm sorry, but being married to somebody, you marry your best friend that you share everything with.

Michelle Moore: 1:00:52

And I think if you sit and just visit with a bunch of couples like we have a lot of good couple friends and you're going to hear every one of them saying my spouse is my best friend.

Daniel Moore: 1:01:02

And we have a lot of Christian friends. Yeah. So I think I like the way that, the Christian faith, the way we look at that, because we do look at it a little differently than what the world does. But you can't go wrong having your spouse as your best friend at all.

Daniel Moore: 1:01:16

So the very last one here. The last myth is marriage doesn't change anything here. The last myth is marriage doesn't change anything. Well, this is a myth that downplays the spiritual, emotional and practical significance of the marriage covenant. While some couples may think that living together or dating long-term is essentially the same as being married, well, the truth is that marriage brings a profound shift in both responsibility and relationship. Biblically, marriage is a covenant before God. It's not just a legal or social arrangement. Genesis 2.24, we refer to that again. It says that a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh. This one flesh union marks a deep spiritual and emotional bond that changes the way two people relate to each other and to the world around them.

Daniel Moore: 1:02:06

Practically speaking, marriage introduces new dynamics that require intentional adjustment, like shared finances, joint decision-making, family planning and long-term commitment through every season of life. It also changes how couples are viewed by others and how they should view themselves, not as individuals pursuing separate paths, but as a united team. The commitment of marriage elevates the relationship from casual to covenantal, requiring greater sacrifice, deeper communication and mutual accountability. Saying I do may not instantly change your personality or preferences, but it absolutely transforms the nature of your relationship in God's eyes and in your daily life. So we see this a lot.

Daniel Moore: 1:02:52

We see a lot of couples that just live together and they go to church and they profess to be Christians. They serve, they try to do everything that a married couple does, but we know biblically that's not the way God wants that to be Christians, they serve, they try to do everything that a married couple does, but we know biblically that's not the way God wants that to be. And there's obvious reasons for that. I know for you and I, the relationship I think that we have we could never carry on if we were just cohabiting.

Michelle Moore: 1:03:13

Right.

Daniel Moore: 1:03:14

You know, if you and I just moved in and we stayed that way, I mean what do you think we would have? The same type of relationship that we have now?

Michelle Moore: 1:03:23

No, and I also think it's easier to leave if you're not married.

Daniel Moore: 1:03:26

Yeah.

Michelle Moore: 1:03:26

There's no reason to stay.

Daniel Moore: 1:03:28

Exactly Because that covenant's not there. Yeah, and you know, whenever we get married, we make those promises and those covenants before God, and that means that we dedicate ourselves solely to each other. That nobody's supposed to be able to divide that bond. And so I totally agree with you. I think that whenever we're just, you know, being live in boyfriend and girlfriend, and we just choose to stay that way and have kids, have a home and all that kind of thing, all you are is you're still just two friends that now have shared stuff you know, and it does make it harder for you, because if you're going to end up getting mad at each other and say, well, I'm not married to you, I'm just going to leave, well then you got to divide all this stuff up and it's almost like a marriage.

Daniel Moore: 1:04:14

But to me it just seems like it would be so different. I just can't even imagine what that would be like. And I mean to me. I think that the fact that you said, okay, I'll marry you, that raises my marriage to you and my love for you in a whole different level.

Michelle Moore: 1:04:29

Yeah, that just raises that bar, it should.

Daniel Moore: 1:04:33

And so to me it really shows how much you really do care and love about me because you're willing to go into that covenant relationship. So that's going to be the 12 myths that we're going to cover this week. Did you have anything else that you want to add to any of that? No, it was good. I hope that maybe some of these things have shed some light if you guys are in some of these situations and didn't really know what the answer was, which way you need to turn or how to take care of these issues as they come up. And this is only 12. I mean, there's hundreds of myths that are out there when it comes to being married and that kind of thing. There's a lot of things, especially if you're newly married. You're going to run into a lot of stuff as time goes along and hopefully you know, if you stay in the word and you keep praying, have some good godly counsel, then I think you know that's the best way to get through a lot of these issues as they come up. So we just hope that as we wrap up today's episode, we hope that you're feeling both challenged and encouraged in your marriage.

Daniel Moore: 1:05:33

Marriage is a sacred and a beautiful gift from God, but it's also a relationship that requires truth, grace and intentional effort.

Daniel Moore: 1:05:41

The myths we've talked about today might sound harmless or even popular, but they can quietly distort our expectations and slowly erode the foundation of a godly marriage if we leave them unchecked. The truth is, marriage isn't about perfection, it's about persistence. It's not held together by feelings, convenience or culture's advice, but by a covenant rooted in love, humility and daily surrender to Christ. When we replace the world's myths with God's truth, we begin to see marriage not just as a place of happiness, but as a place of holiness, where God shapes us, stretches us and draws us closer to himself through one another. So, whether you're newly married, walking through a rough patch or simply wanting to grow stronger together, remember this A successful marriage isn't built on fairy tales. It's built on faith, hard work, honesty and two people who keep showing up day after day with open hearts and surrendered wills. It day after day, with open hearts and surrendered wills, and when God is at the center, no myth can compete with the power of his truth.

Michelle Moore: 1:06:48

So good Yep.

Daniel Moore: 1:06:53

So keep seeking God's heart for your home, because his design for marriage is not only good, it's life giving. Well, that's going to do it for this week's episode. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any episodes that we have each and every week. I'm Daniel Moore. My wife, michelle, has been sitting over here with me this week.

Michelle Moore: 1:07:08

Bye guys.

Daniel Moore: 1:07:08

As we went through this episode. I want to thank her for being here today as well. Thank you, guys, for listening. This show wouldn't be possible without you. If you're a fan of the show, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Or if you would like to help us out, just take a few seconds to give us a five-star click and please subscribe to us on your favorite platform. The links are in the show notes. Well, that's all for this week, and we pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode. This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.

Aria: 1:08:02

You've been listening to the Gap Ministries and we podcast every Thursday and a video version of it on YouTube and Rumble. We are also on the Christian podcasting app Edify. You can subscribe to our podcast on many of the available podcasting platforms, including Apple Podcast, spotify, amazon Music, iheart Radio, tunein Radio and more. We are also available on your Alexa-enabled devices. If you would like to contact our ministry for any reason, visit our contact page and send us a message. We hope you are blessed by this ministry. This is a production of Connecting the Gap Ministries.